Freedom
by K. L. Bloodfang
Summary: The cat has lived a life of nothing but pain and regret. He searched for acceptance and yearned to belong, but was trapted. He has finally found his freedom, but at what cost?


Freedom

By: K.L. Bloodfang

**Kyo's POV**

"My father is right; he has always been right. I AM worthless; I SHOULD have been the one to die, not my mother. I shouldn't have been born at all; it's my fault mother is dead. My family loathes me, I have no friends, no one cares about me, and I should die.

Yes, I SHOULD die. Is not like anyone would even remember me. They don't care about me; they will be happy when I'm gone, especially Yuki. I can almost see him smile as I breathe my last breath. They won't have me vexing them any longer."

I closed my black journal, caressed the 3-D dragon image in the front and placed it gently in my school backpack. Inside its pages were my deepest and most troubled thoughts, thoughts that I have never spoken, thoughts that I shall carry to the grave.

I looked at my room for the last time, put on my school uniform and made my way downstairs to the dining table. Breakfast was already served and the Sohmas and Tohru seemed to have been waiting for me to start eating, as if I was worth anything to them.

"Well, about time you came down, Kyo. We were about to start breakfast without you", said Shigure smiling, like always. I didn't spoke, but they should have started without me. You're only supposed to wait for important people.

"Morning, Kyo! Is the food to your liking?" asked Tohru, as she did every morning. I usually say something, but not today. I remained silent. I'm not even worth enough for my voice to be heard.

After breakfast, I made my way to school, behind Yuki and Tohru, precisely where I belonged. As we walked, we passed several stores and one caught my attention: a sword store. Just what I needed. After all, if I was going to take my life, I would require something sharper that a pathetic, little razor.

**Yuki's POV**

I have recently notice that something seems to be very wrong with that baka neko. He won't pick fights with me anymore, he's very quiet, and he doesn't insult anyone. It is so weird! I should be glad he isn't bothering me anymore, but it just makes me uneasy. I know something in him has changed, but I don't know what.

It is morning already and Shigure, Tohru and I have been waiting for him to come down to have breakfast. He usually comes down before me, which makes me even more uncomfortable. Finally, ten minutes later he shows up.

"Well, about time you came down, Kyo. We were about to start breakfast without you", said Shigure smiling and joking like always. It was strange; Kyo didn't say a thing to him. Shigure noticed and looked at me, like asking me what was wrong with the cat. I raised my shoulders, answering him that I didn't know.

"Morning, Kyo! Is the food to your liking?" asked Tohru, as she did every morning and still no answer from Kyo. I did notice though that his face seemed very serene and eerie kind of serene. Something was very wrong with Kyo indeed.

After breakfast, the three of us left together for school. The walk was awfully quiet, in Kyo's part. I didn't notice until we arrived at the school that Kyo wasn't behind us at all.

**Kyo's POV**

I entered the store and began the search for the blade whose only mission would be to take my life. There were many choices: an eight inch knife with a red handle, but it was too small; a small kodashi sword, but it was too large. And then I saw it, a twelve-inch long dagger with the handle in the shape of a rat. How ironic, all my life I fought to defeat the rat and it will be one that will end it. Perfect.

I still don't know why I did it, but after I purchased the dagger I went to my father's job. I received the same greeting, as always:

"You insignificant freak! What the hell do you think you are doing here! You are not worthy to be at my sight, you're not worthy to be before anyone. Leave this place as one, stupid cat!"

"Father, I just realized that all the things you have ever told me were the truth, every last word. I was a fool to believe that I could do something to change it, but the reality of it all is that I have always been nothing but a pathetic, worthless, useless abomination who should have died as soon as he was born. I will not burden the Sohmas any longer with my presence. "

I took my newly purchased blade out of my backpack and slid it across my skin. My face, my arms, my legs, my chest, the blade touched every single inch of my flesh. Blood poured out from hundreds of wounds covering me in a warm, red, velvety blanket.

I smiled a crazed smile at my father, whose face contorted to a look of pure horror as more of the life giving liquid stained the surface of my skin.

"There you go, father! Just what you've always wanted! I will be gone soon, I shall have a slow and painful death as the blood little by little gracefully pours from my open wounds! Is this what you wanted father? Is it? Well, you got it; the Baka Neko will soon be no more!"

I soon left my horrofied father behind. I strolled in a manic trance to Kaiwaia High, thinking only of finding Yuki; I had to tell him that I wouldn't be bothering him anymore. Once inside, my blood tarnished the white floor tiles as I emotionlessly walked through the halls of what once was my school.

**Yuki's POV**

I stayed outside Kaiwaia High for a while, hoping to see Kyo and asking him what was wrong with him. Instead, I came across Hatsuharu and Momiji as they arrived. They saw the troubled look on my face and came towards me.

"Hey, something the matter, Yuki?" asked Haru, as he stopped Momiji from pouncing on me.

"It's Kyo; he's been acting very strangely lately and it's got me worried. He won't ask for trouble or pick fights, heck he barely speaks at all anymore! And now, he disappeared on the way here", I answered the ox. Haru sat down beside me on the ground and looked at me.

"That is weird alright. I agree with you, something is wrong with him. I tried to fight with him a couple of weeks ago and he didn't even flinch. Even as I went Black, he still stood there and let me punch him. I had thought he was thinking about something or just wanted to get it over with or something," said Haru.

"Hey, you guys know what? Kyo let me pounced on him the other day, and he didn't get mad at all!" added Momiji smiling.

Haru and I looked at each other. "Yep, there is something REALLY wrong with Kyo", we said together.

Soon after, the school bell rang and the three of us had to get to class, but there still was no Kyo. The hour passed in a blur; I was too worried about to Kyo to actually listen to the professor. Soon, the class ended and we began to exit the classroom. Miss Uotani was the first the leave and she slipped on some red liquid on the floor. I kneeled down, touched the liquid with one of my fingers and smelt it. I recognized it immediately; Miss Uotani had slipped on blood.

**Kyo's POV**

I passed in front of Haru's and Momiji's homeroom and looked beyond the small window of the door. At that same time Haru was looking at the door and caught a glimpse of me. I waved goodbye to him as a smiled my crazed grin at him. He paled and fell from his desk and I continued my way.

I began to feel weak; I knew my time was drawing ever closer. I soon came across and empty classroom and I locked myself within it, probably to die.

It seemed as if hours of excruciating pain and agony had passed when suddenly the doors to my prison were burst open. I shall never forget the horror-struck faces on my cousins' faces as they stared at my blood-soaked clothes and red-stained skin.

**Yuki's POV**

Looking down the hall, I noticed that there was a very long trail of blood on the floor. An unbearable feeling of dread fell over me. I don't know how, but I knew that the trail of blood I was about to follow would lead me to Kyo.

I continued to follow the blood until I saw Momiji holding up a pale-faced Haru. I am sure that if the rabbit wasn't holding him up, he would have fainted.

"Haru, are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost or something", I said to the ox.

" Ky…Ky…Ky…Ky…"

"That's the only thing he has been able to say for the last ten minutes", said Momiji, answering the question I was about to ask. I took Haru's face in my hands and looked straight in his frighten eyes.

"Haru, I need you to tell me what you saw. Calm down and speak." He looked at me, mumbled some more and finally spoke the words that I feared the most at that moment:

"Kyo covered in blood, I saw Kyo waving goodbye to me and he was covered in blood from head to toe."

Both Momiji and I paled as well. We had to find Kyo and quick, before it was too late. I began to run alongside Kyo's blood, Haru and Momiji behind me. The trail ended in front of an empty classroom. We opened the door and there he was. Kyo was kneeling on the floor, blood staining every centimeter of his flesh and a demented grin decorating his face. The three of us where horror-struck.

**Kyo's POV**

"KYO!" Yuki, Haru and Momiji yelled in terror. The first two took of their school jackets and wrapped them around me in an attempt to stop the bleeding, I believe, as tears of pain flowed freely from their eyes. Still, at this moment, I couldn't comprehend why they cried for me.

"Have you done this to yourself, Kyo? Have you completely lost? Do you truly want to die, is that it?" asked Yuki, crying hysterically. I just stared at him, bewildered and crazed.

"You should be happy, Yuki! I will die and you, Haru and the rest of the family won't have me taking up space anymore! There won't be a Baka Neko to ruin the Sohma family anymore!" I said still blinded by my father's words. My three cousins looked wide-eyed at me as more tears fell from their eyes, which made me more confused. Hatsuharu looked at Momiji, pulled out a cell phone from his pocket and gave it to the rabbit.

"Momiji, call Hatori, Shigure and Kazuma. Tell them we need them, now; Kyo is covered in blood and laughing hysterical; his wounds seem self-made", said Haru to the blond boy. I remember the door to the classroom opening and closing, probably Momiji. Then, Yuki spoke again, to me. He fell to his knees, instantly followed by Haru and they both hugged me tightly.

**Yuki's POV**

"KYO!" we yelled in terror. Hatsuharu and I took of our school jackets and wrapped them around Kyo trying desperately to stop his massive bleeding. Tears fell without restraint from our eyes as we say him like this.

"Have you done this to yourself, Kyo? Have you completely lost? Do you truly want to die, is that it?" I asked him, crying hysterically. He looked at me confused and mad. His answer will haunt me for the rest of my life.

"You should be happy, Yuki! I will die and you, Haru and the rest of the family won't have me taking up space anymore! There won't be a Baka Neko to ruin the Sohma family anymore!" he answered. Momiji, Haru and I stared at him as more tears fell from our eyes. We where the cause of Kyo's pain. He tried to suicide because he thought we would be better off without him. Haru then took his phone and gave it to Momiji.

"Momiji, call Hatori, Shigure and Kazuma. Tell them we need them, now; Kyo is covered in blood and laughing hysterical; his wounds seem self-made", said Haru to the rabbit and he left the room. Then, I spoke again to Kyo. I fell to my knees, instantly followed by Haru and we both hugged Kyo tightly. I believe this was the first time we had ever showed any kind of affection to him. No wonder he thought we hated him.

"Kyo, we don't think you are a bother. You are part of our family, you are our cousin and we love you. I know that I have said really horrible things to you, without thinking how much they could hurt you. For that, I am really sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Kyo," I said to him.

"I'm also sorry, Kyo. I may have not said horrible things to you, but I never truly said anything nice either. I never said to you how much you mean to me and everyone else. I guess I thought those words would not mean much to you, and I was wrong. Please, forgive us", added Haru.

**Kyo's POV**

Kyo, we don't think you are a bother. You are part of our family, you are our cousin and we love you. I know that I have said really horrible things to you, without thinking how much they could hurt you. For that, I am really sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Kyo," the rat said to me.

"I'm also sorry, Kyo. I may have not said horrible things to you, but I never truly said anything nice either. I never said to you how much you mean to me and everyone else. I guess I thought those words would not mean much to you, and I was wrong. Please, forgive us", added the ox.

I still smiled my crazed grin, but this time, tears flowed freely from my eyes. Their words truly touch every fiber of my being. I never, in a thousand years, believed that my family could say such loving things to me, and actually mean them. The feelings I underwent at that moment were overwhelming. My family loved me, they truly loved me; my father had been wrong all along. I only regret I figured things out too late.

Some time elapsed when, suddenly, the doors opened again. I remember hearing several gasps and cries and Hatori and Master moving in front of me.

"I'm sorry, father", I said to Kazuma before the darkness overtook me.

**Yuki's POV**

We kept hugging him for a very long time. Some time passed before the doors opened again. Hatori, Shigure and Kazuma all gasped and cried when they say Kyo. Hatori moved in front of the battered teen, followed by Kazuma. I say him look at his master and say "I'm sorry, father" before he collapsed in my arms.

We immediately took him to Sohma Central, where Hatori stitched Kyo's wounds and gave him several blood transfusions. We all visited him, even if he was in a coma. Even Akito went to him and apologized for all the tortured he put him through.

I guess is true what they say: You never know what you have until you lose it. After, he may have been alive, but he was still lost to us. After his wounds healed, he kept trying to kill himself so, with pain in our hearts, he had no choice nut to shackle him to his bed. We tried talking him out of his madness, but he didn't listen. We tried others way to help him, but all of them failed. We would unrestrained him daily, but every time he would try to kill himself again.

In time, he calmed down and we were able to let him loose, but he was not alright. The shell that was left behind couldn't remember or recognize anyone. There where some times where he would remember, but these where scarce and he would forget again soon.

I know this is hard on him and it hurts us all to see him like this, especially knowing that it is our fault that he is this way. I can only hope that one of these days he will recover his sanity and memory and comes back to be the old Kyo we all love.

**Kyo's POV**

I don't know how much time lapsed before I regained consciousness, but I do remember the voices of people, voices that spoke such loving things to me; some even cried for me.

Unfortunately, I never recovered my mind completely after that. After I regained my strength, I kept trying to suicide. My poor family had no choice but to bind me to my bed. I was shackled for around three months before I pacified enough to be set free.

My body may have been unbounded, but I still remained trapted within my own mind. I was lost inside; the shell that was left behind couldn't recognize anything or anyone. I know it was hard on the Sohmas, it still is.

I am still not well; however I do get a few moment s of lucidity a week, even if they don't last long. It is during these few sane moments that I have written the last few entries of this journal, the same way I did when I was alright.

Every day I pray for one of two things: the complete return of my sanity or a visit from the Grim Reaper. I realize that if I wasn't a burden to my family before, I am one now. If you guys ever find this journal, I just want to say that I am sorry for all the pain I have brought for our family, and I am glad to have ever had the privileged to have met you. I'm sorry that you've had to suffer alongside me for so long. We shall meet again someday, on the other side…

**Normal POV**

But the Sohmas' prayers were not answered. Kyo's condition only worsened after that. He got out of control again; he frantically tried to take his life again. Even in his dementia he understood that the people around him, his family, were suffering because of him, yet, the family couldn't.

One day, four months after Kyo's first suicidal attempt, Hatori found him on his room with a sheet tied tightly around his neck, and not breathing. The dragon tried desperately for several minutes to resuscitate the cat, but to no avail. He had no choice but to declare the poor cat dead.

It was a very overwhelming blow to everyone, especially to Kazuma, Hatsuharu and Yuki. He was given a simple burial, as he would have liked. He was laid to rest next to his mother. His gravestone reads:

Here lies Kyo Sohma

A lost who didn't understood love, until it was too late

He will be missed deeply by his family, the core of all his pain

"You never know what you have until it is gone"

Even after his death, the Sohmas couldn't understand what kind of thoughts went through Kyo's head to make him part this way. They finally got their answers when Shigure came across the cat's black, dragon journal. They all read all the mental torture Kyo's biological father had put him through. It took Shigure, Hatori, and Ayame to stop Kazuma from killing the bastard.

If Kazuma had killed him, though, the man would have had a quick end. People have always said Karma will get you back. The man died two weeks later after he sustained numerous injuries during a car accident. He agonized for three days in the hospital before he finally passed away.

No Sohma went to his funeral and he was buried in a different cemetery than his wife and the son he never accepted, far away from them.

**Yuki's POV **

It has been 10 whole years since Kyo's death. I never thought that his death would hurt as much as it has. We are all still hurting from his loss, especially Kazuma and I.

A new Cat of the Zodiac was born a year after his death and this boy looks just like Kyo. The child's mother died during child birth and his father can't stand him. We were not about to make the same mistakes we made twice. I took the boy in my care and have been raising him since his birth. I must admit it hasn't been easy, especially since he is just like his predecessor, hot-tempered and all. Yet, I still love that boy as if he was my own. This most be the way Kazuma felt about Kyo. I truly understand why he hurts so much.

Actually, the whole family cares about the kitten. He also knows about Kyo and his tragic death. He visits his grave during the anniversary of his death, along with the rest of the family. Just like today. Actually I can hear my son calling me; Haru's here to take us to the cemetery.

"Daddy, time to go!" He yells from the front door.

"I know, Taro. I'm coming", I yell back at him.

The drive to the cemetery is a quiet one. By the time we got there everyone else had already arrived. We all prayed at his grave and I leave some codfish onigiri.

I don't know why, but something drives me to look to my left at a near-by tree. I almost jumped from the shock. Right under the tree is Kyo and he looks the same way he did before he fell into his deep depression; the Kyo we all loved. There is a woman with him, with long black hair and light-color eyes: his mother. She was hugging him and he smiled happily; I don't think I ever saw him smile like that before. He looks straight at me and speaks:

"Yuki, take good care of Taro. Don't let him suffer for nothing, like I did. I know you won't let him get hurt; to you, he is your son and that's good. Thank you, thank you for telling the way you truly felt about me that day. I apologize to you and the rest of the family for all the misery I put you guys through. Tell my father, Kazuma, that I love him very much and that it is okay for him to go on and to be happy. Also, thank Haru for the words he told me that day so many years ago.

If my mind hadn't been so damaged by that bastard's words I would have probably recovered. But, honestly, I don't regret my decision. I am happy now, Yuki. Mother finally was able to accept me for who I was and who I am; she is with me and loves me, I am not alone. You and the others have to let go; I want you guys to be happy too. Live your lives to the fullest. Promise me this, Yuki."

I look at him, tears of happiness falling from my eyes and I smile. "I promise, Kyo. Rest in peace, my friend. Until we see each other again, in the afterlife."

He smiled at me again and disappeared. The others saw me crying and smiling and asked me what was wrong.

"Kyo was here. He just told me that he is happy now. His mother loves him for who he is, finally. He wants us to carry on and live our lives to the fullest. He says he is sorry for hurting us but he is very thankful to have been part of our family.

Kazuma, he says he wants you to carry on and be happy. He called you his father. And Haru, he thanks you for the things you said to him that day. I don't know about you guys, but I think it is time we smiled again at life. Kyo has moved on as so should we", I say.

I saw how all the pain lifted from everyone's shoulders and how all our spirits rose. For the first time in a long time we all where able to smile and cry tear of happiness instead of pain.

"He finally called me father, I can die happy now. But that won't be for a very long time", said Kazuma laughing.

I went to my son and hugged him tightly. Thing would be different from now on. The Sohmas will not suffer any longer. We will live our lives to the fullest. We have to, for you Kyo. We are all finally free.


End file.
